“I gave it everything I had but sometimes your all just won’t be enough.
As much as I want to talk about how some people that got accepted don’t even deserve it as much as I did, I shouldn’t.
Who am I to judge? What power do I have to determine who gave the most of themselves? All I know is what I gave. All I feel is my own deception.
Wait, fuck that! This is my journal and I write whatever the fuck I want!
I never had parents that went out of their way to cater to my every desire. I have learned the hard way that when you want something you get off your butt and you work for it. I know no tricks nor shortcuts. That’s what disgusts me the most about it all. All I had to do to get accepted was have a mommy or daddy with a couple of handy contacts and I was good to go. Oh yeah, being at the events every once in a while just for looks could have helped too. I am revolted by the fact that people that didn’t put in half the hustle I did just got what they wanted on a silver platter.
Money is power after all.
Nobody said life was fair.
Justice doesn’t exist because justice is perfection.
I don’t regret embarking on this journey but I just wish I knew that I had no chance in the beginning. I wouldn’t have given my life the way I did. My fear of failing would have stopped me.”
Hey! It’s been a hot minute so today I decided to give you a glimpse of my personal journal. I will probably regret this later but I just wanted to let you guys know one of the things that has been keeping me from you for the past few months.
I gave a lot of my time to a humanitarian project that had a trip to India as a finality! There were too many of us so we were told from the beginning that only a certain number could go. We knew there would be winners and weepers and unfortunately I was one of the weepers.
The excerpt you just read came from a very bitter place. Thank the Lord I am not in there anymore because it was dark. At the end of the day this project is a good reflection of how life works. The lessons I’ve learned are: don’t mess with rich kids and get you some handy phone numbers.
I still am a firm believer that hard work is has its own reward and I will keep hustling. Do I have a choice? Slacking was never an option for me. Nor was waiting for things to just happen. Sometimes I will fall short because you can’t be on top of everybody’s game. You can’t meet everybody’s expectations. Yet I will ball till I start stunting and what do you know? Some of these rich kids just might end up serving me what I want on a silver platter.
We are back to our weekly schedule so don’t hesitate to drop by next week!
Oh and excuse the language but I keep it real in my journal.