It’s 1 am and I’m trying to sleep but I can’t because every time I start to dose off I’m awakened and startled by my own coughing. It felt like the gods of coughing were sitting somewhere laughing at me. One of them, the reasonable one, suggested they let me get it all out at once but the others thought it was funnier to let me start falling asleep between the uncontrollable cough sessions. I decided to stop trying to sleep and just let it happen so I started thinking instead. You know the thoughts you get before going to sleep? I have them too but the only difference between me and a common human being is that sometimes I actually say them out loud. Well, I whisper them to myself so my family members don’t question my sanity.
In the middle of all of this, I started thinking about how distant I’ve been with God lately. The lack of prayer and meditation is leading to lack of faith. The lack of faith is leading to lack of prayer and meditation. A vicious circle.
Then my thoughts wondered to a YouTube video I watched earlier. It was a “letter to my teenage self” and the YouTuber said she would tell herself to fear God. Those words that then appeared at the bottom right corner of my screen reappeared in my head like a cool flashback you see in movies. I didn’t understand why those words that I had heard and seen a million times before, from preachers all the way to Lil Wayne and Nicki Minaj, struck me all of a sudden.
I started to think that the fear of God is something that we overlook a lot in modern times. Long gone are the days where people believed by fear of going to hell. That’s a good thing, don’t get me wrong, God wants us to decide to love him but I feel that we’re so caught up in the loving merciful comforting God that we have forgotten the God that is spoken of in verses like Romans 1:18, Psalm 2:12 and John 3:36. We have created this image of a God that suits our current society and lifestyles. Is that really Him? Why can’t we take ALL of God? Embracing one part of him doesn’t necessarily mean rebuking the other.
An earthly father is a more relatable example. A good father is one that comforts his child when he is in need and who will give the child a whooping when he deserves it. We can’t have a dad that applauds us no matter what we do just like we can’t have one that never shows love, compassion and forgiveness. Same thing goes for God.
I remember when I was younger, they would tell us not to sin otherwise God would slap us in the night. The thought of getting beaten by a giant invisible hand amuses me but back then it just terrified me. Now I look at that as a metaphor: fear God or his wrath will come upon you in a somewhat suddle way (can you say profound?). The fear of God can push you in the right direction. It can help with decision making as well. Think about it…